Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Secret

I realize that revealing my secret to recent weight loss might have some of you view me differently or stop reading but it’s a risk I have to take.  I promised you, dear reader, that I would be real and honest.  Here it goes.  I eat a low-carbohydrate and low-sugar diet.  I exercise 3-4 days per week alternating cardio and weight training.  I also take drugs.  Skerrrrrt.  I’m prescribed, by my doctor, an appetite suppressant and a serotonin-effecting drug that aid in my weight loss.  I know what some of you might be thinking, “She’s a cheater!”  I have just three words for any of you naysayers out there, go fuck yourselves.  Sorry, Mom.  Until you’ve tipped the scales at nearly 300 lbs., have tried and failed every diet under the sun, or have struggled with your weight and food addiction for your entire life, you don’t get an opinion.  Yes, I take prescription drugs but I wouldn’t be successful if that’s all I did.  My ability to lose 65 lbs. over the last 6 months is because of my hard work, dedication and sweat.  I’ve changed a lot of bad habits over this time period and I fight every day to be better.  I fight the 4:30 a.m. alarm clock, I fight the urge to drink my morning diet coke and I fight the voice inside my head that whispers, “Donuts. Chips. Ice cream. Cupcakes,” on constant rotation.

In my former life, I drank a diet coke or coke zero, recently, for breakfast every morning without fail.  I would get wicked headaches by 10 a.m. if I skipped it.  I rationalized this bad behavior by comparing it to my coworker’s morning coffee.  At lunch, I would have another 1-2 DCs and would usually cram another in around my 3:30 p.m. crash.  My water to diet coke ratio per day was about a 4 to 2.  It’s actually disgusting to think about.  Now, I can’t drink ANYTHING caffeinated without the risk of losing sleep that night.  I do average about 1 DC per week and I do drink it when I mix with alcohol to avoid anything sugary.  Other than that, it’s water all day long.  I average about twelve 8 oz. glasses per day, which equates to peeing like every five minutes.  Girl on a diet problems.

In my former life, it wasn’t unusual to order in a sandwich (with chips!) for lunch or to run to a nearby fast food place.  It’s not the food that I miss, it’s the convenience.  Now my meals have to be pre-planned and taking a quick lunch is eating a homemade salad at my desk.  I really do miss sandwiches though.  Jimmy Johns: Hunter’s Club w/ BBQ chips, a diet coke and a cookie.  Ughhhhhh.  Some of you might not know what Jimmy John's is but it’s a sub shop and the sandwiches are served on this amazingly fluffy white French bread.  For some reason the Hellman’s mayo that they use just tastes better, too.  Tangent, sorry.  It also wouldn’t be rare for me to make a cupcake, cookie or ice cream run when having a bad day at work.  At my last office, we would make daily treat runs to perk the staff back up.  I got so used to those snack times that it was a hard habit to break.

So, yes, I do have help to keep me on track, however, these prescriptions do not define me or my journey.  I don’t think I’ve had an easier time because of them and I certainly wouldn’t be as successful if I solely relied on them.  I’ve upped my activity and changed my eating.  At the root of it, that’s what will keep me going after the drugs are gone.

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