I have a confession, I violate one of the “no-nos” that my
gym scrolls on the TV screens- I stare at others when they’re working out. I’m a people watcher to the core. I think it’s hereditary as it’s one of my
dad’s favorite pastimes, too. Whenever he
and mom come to visit me in Gainesville and we go shopping, dad happily parks
himself outside Dillard’s on the comfy leather sofas to watch the people come
and go. Then when we pick him up after
browsing, he is full of stories about people he wishes we could have seen. At the gym, I mostly stare when I’m looking
at your form or workout because I’m interested in what you’re doing that I’m
not. It should be a compliment. Hey, you have a nice body and I want arms
like yours! I think staring is a bit harsh
of a word to use, I mostly glance…often.
Well, in my often glancing I sometimes spot a very cute gentleman. Let me just say this, I am not at the gym to
pick up a man. If it happens to happen
well then that’s great but I am not the girl who dresses for guys when she
works out. I NEVER wear makeup because
it ends up all over my shirt or running down my face. I also do not do cute workout clothes because
I go for comfort and functionality. I
wear mostly spandex capris with various T-shirts I’ve gotten from my job. Yep, free T-shirts are my go to. T-shirts are absorbent and offer full
coverage so they are the best option for me.
I have enough anxiety about the amount of sweat pouring down my body in
a T-shirt and I know those flimsy tank tops will not contain all of it. It really is a courtesy to those around me. Another item I inherited from my dad is that
I’m a head sweater. I’m not sure why but
I primarily sweat from my head. It’s
like I’m raining. Gross, I know, but
these are the details that I feel my readers need to know about me. Sweaters unite! I really think if you don’t sweat that you’re
an alien being. I’m automatically
suspicious of you and hate you immediately.
Anyway, I have deduced that it is impossible to pick up
anyone at the gym because a lot of attendees forego wedding rings. I wear a ring on my right hand all the time
but I do take it off at the gym. It’s
incredibly uncomfortable to lift weights in a ring and this girl doesn’t have
time for callouses. Well, the absence of
wedding bands has gotten me a little frustrated. There was a cute boy at the gym who never had
a ring on. He and his friend, who always
wore a wedding band, were there every morning when my gym partner, Alexa, and I
were there, too. Alexa is married and
she, too, sometimes doesn’t wear a ring.
I thought it was so cute that there was a married guy with his single friend
and Alexa is married and I’m her single friend.
It was basically fate. One day,
we were lifting next to them and I heard Boy say something about in-laws. Rut roh.
Maybe I misheard him? It is loud
in here with the music and the grunting from the gang of older men in the
corner. No such luck. Later that week he was there with wedding
ring. False advertisement at its finest. Well this morning I was bit again by absence
of ring. There is a new boy at the gym
that is so cute. We will call him Ryan. FYI, I do know his real name because someone
called to him across the gym one day but he shall remain anonymous as
Gainesville only has a few gyms and I am known at mine. Ryan NEVER has a ring on. He’s been attending the gym during my early
morning time for about 3 months now and I’ve never seen a ring or a ring tan
line. I really thought we had a moment
yesterday morning when I got off the treadmill to stretch and he was in the
stretch section. We caught eyes and I
got really uncomfortable as I was, as usual, raining sweat. This morning, I log on to Facebook and in the
People You May Know (and are probably purposefully not friending) was
Ryan! I have 2 friends in common with
him and I squinted at the picture and recognized his familiar face. The people I didn’t recognize in his profile
pic were his wife and child. Whomp
whomp.
Moral of the story, kids, is that people at the gym you
don’t interact with really are strangers.
I feel like I know some of them because I see them every morning and smile
at them when we recognize each other in Target but they are strangers. They can be single, married, gay, straight,
serial killers or brain surgeons. You
just never know. Avoid any embarrassment
and just focus on yourself when you’re there.
Bust it out in the gym to look better in your everyday surroundings and
that’s where you can pick up a date. I’m
still waiting to meet Mr. Right at the grocery store as we both reach for the
same apple. I did warn you that I
thought my life was like a movie!
If you’re reading and you happen to be a single, straight,
brain surgeon feel free to say hi at the gym.
I’m the girl who’s melting. I
promise I’m cute in real life.
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