Friday, September 12, 2014

Ore-Oh No You Didn't!

In 12 short days, many lives will be changed. On September 24, 2014, Nabisco will be launching PUMPKIN SPICE OREOS. Yes, you read that right. Two of my, and all other sane people’s, favorite things are coming together. This marriage will signify the official commencement of all things sweaters, changing leaves, boots and crisp air. A cookie of this magnitude also presents itself as a challenge. I believe my exact words to my mother were, “My life is over.” As if denying myself Dunkin’ Donuts pumpkin donuts, seasonal pumpkin ales, and my momma’s pumpkin trifle AND her pumpkin cheesecake weren’t enough. I now have the jerks at Nabisco throwing themselves into the ring. Fall is continuously slapping me in the face with challenges; football, pumpkin everything, Halloween candy and, ya’ know, a huge eating holiday—Thanksgiving! I know what you’re thinking, “Sarah, you can eat a few Oreos and still stay on track.” You’d be right but one (me) doesn’t just eat a serving of Oreos. The whole bag will peril.

Not to date myself, but back when I was a kid Oreo came in one flavor…Oreo. Chocolate cookies with vanilla crème. We also had to walk 5 miles to school in the scorching heat and didn’t have cell phones. It was a bleak time, young readers. I remember getting excited when they had the white chocolate dipped Oreos at Christmas. Or when they released the springtime ones with blue or yellow colored crème. Golden Oreos weren’t even a thing in the dark ages. With a Google search and a little grocery store knowledge, I have compiled a list of flavors that Nabisco has since released:

Birthday cake
Cookie dough
Ice cream flavors; featuring rainbow sherbet, berry burst, banana split and creamsicle
Peanut butter
Triple double (3 cookies layered with vanilla crème and chocolate crème)
Triple double Neapolitan (3 golden cookies layered with strawberry crème and chocolate crème)
Dulce de leche
Crema de fresca
Strawberry milkshake
Root beer float
Marshmallow crispy (WHAT?!! New 2014 flavor)
Caramel apple
Fruit punch

There are probably others but I, honestly, ran out of notebook paper. This is absolutely amazing and ridiculous at the same time. I was unaware that most of these even existed! I’ve been living an unprivileged Oreo life. This brings me back to The Great Birthday Cake Oreo Quest of 2012. I read about these elusive Oreos for quite some time and couldn’t stop talking about them. I visited every store in Gainesville that sold food and couldn’t find them anywhere. It was exhausting. My friend, Tracey, finally couldn’t take it anymore and bought me a box on Amazon for a ridiculous price. I love her. The very day they arrived by mail, I went on vacation to North Carolina where I was able to find millions of packages of these Oreos. Double Oreo win. Anyone who knows me isn’t surprised by my quest because they know I love ANYTHING birthday cake flavored. I even have a birthday cake flavor Chapstick. Yep, that happened. You’re also not surprised because you know my obsession with Chapstick.

To add even more pumpkin treat pressure, Dairy Queen has launched a pumpkin pie blizzard and Pop Tarts has also released a frosted pumpkin pie limited edition tart. Luckily, I did see that Jif Whips came out with a peanut butter and pumpkin pie spice flavored spread that I can actually eat! I will be picking up a tub this weekend and reporting back. I wonder, what does one eat this with besides spoons? On September 24, I will search high and low for the Pumpkin Spice Oreos (it’s a vanilla cookie, btw). I will set a 2 serving limit and need friends and family to help me finish off the package. Now accepting volunteers. After my 2 servings, I will continue to clear the many hurdles that the fall season has laid before me. All things punkin’ included.

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