Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Giving Thanks Where Thanks is Due

Since Thanksgiving is finally here, I’m sure your newsfeed has seen a few of the, “What I’m thankful for,” posts.  I try not to flood anyone’s Facebook with my life, which is why I started a blog!  It’s your one-stop shop for all the things you need to know about my every thought. :)  I’ve got some pretty big things to be thankful for this year so I wanted to take a moment to write them down and give some shout outs.

Momma, thank you for putting up with me and my endless shenanigans.  You are always the finder of lost things, walker of Oliver and my #1 stylist/shopping buddy.  This past year has been really HARD and it’s nice to have you along for the ride.  You are my sounding board and shoulder to cry on.  Our family would fall apart without you because you are the glue that binds us.  I know I have dad’s knees, hands, math brain and height but I have your heart.  I love you to the moon and back.

Papadopolous, thank you for being my #1 fan.  Your encouragement and dedicated following is so beyond appreciated.  I strive to make you proud and you never miss an opportunity to let me know you are.  Life would be far less fun without you.  You fill our home and lives with laughter.  I am so thankful that Chris and I have a role model who proves that growing up is overrated and farts are funny at every age.  Bonus points to mom for putting up with the three of us!  I can’t even be upset that Oliver loves you more than me because you deserve it.   Love you!

I’m INCREDIBLY blessed with amazing friends.  This year has really taught me that real friends will be there for you no matter what.  They aren’t just a Facebook-photo-like notification; they are text messages and phone calls filled with real, genuine, honest and encouraging words.  I will attempt to thank you each one by one.  I will keep it short but could really go on for days.

Alexa, you are my #1 boo and I would still be the scared girl waiting in her car at the gym who was intimidated by the equipment inside without you.  You are my gym buddy for life.  Thank you for finding and trying new foods, fads and workouts with me!  Remember that time you made me do Smith machine donkey kicks?  Embarrassing but worth it.  I love you and babygirl so much!

Tracey and Michelle, you two joined me on this journey and I am so grateful and proud of your accomplishments!  Tracey, I remember when I told you that I had a huge desire to lose weight.  We were standing in the parking lot getting ready to leave work and I clearly remember you saying, “What do we have to do?”  Emphasis on the “we.”  I’ll never forget how you were in it to win it with me from the moment I had a plan.  As if there was another option because we have to keep looking alike or people might stop confusing us.  Love you, Rachel.  Michelle, I appreciate your honesty and candor.  You always make me turn around and show you my butt when I wear new pants and there was that time you rubbed my belly and said, “Look how skinny you are,” in front of people!  You always keep me in check when I’m being dramatic and emotional, which could be your full-time job.  Sorry I’m not sorry that we get in so much trouble together.  Love you, from Fievel.

Kate, PIC, Ride or Die, I was incredibly lucky to stand next to you this year and hold your dress while you peed as you became a Mrs.  I will also be there to hold your hand next year as you welcome your first baby into the world.  I warn you now, if it’s a girl there will be a glitter and bow explosion in your house. :)  She’ll have to be properly dressed for tea time at Auntie Sarah’s.  I love you and our ridiculousness and that I can call you from the backseat of a car after too much Captain and Fireball and you will listen to whatever nonsense I thought important to say.  We will run a race together one day!  Love you, hooker.

Aly, you and I clicked from day 1 on that high school lacrosse field.  We can go weeks without talking and months without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off.  Thank you for always encouraging me!  You are always first to say how proud you are of me and I really appreciate that.  I wouldn’t be the shopper, crafter, party planner or home decorator I am without you feeding my addiction.  Love you, little sis!

Jennifer S., thank you for being my sounding board and Tuesday night phone date.  One day, we will be together again for Taco Tuesday with tequila.  You’re the margarita to my sangria and I would go insane without you.  You are always there to listen when I need an ear no matter what time of day.  You inspired me to start this blog and encouraged me from day 1.  When I grow up, I want to be you.  You knew what you wanted, chased it and never apologized for being yourself.  I’m still sad you moved away, again, but it lead you to your happily ever after, which is what life is really about anyway.  I have to go doodle your name now.  Love you!

Heidi, thank you SO much for going to UF law school!  I am so excited that we got to become real friends again.  Thank you for your thoughtfulness and kind words.  You are so encouraging and I greatly appreciate it.  You are always just a text message away when I need a friend!  I will continue to deny that you will graduate next year because I’m not ready!  Love you bunches!

Janie R. and Jamie S., you are both crazy and I love you for it!  Thank you for always taking such great care of my mom.  Beach weekend away with the two of you was one of the best times I’ve had this past year.  You both have accomplished so much!  You can relate to all the feelings and experiences I’ve had, which is pretty rare.  Janie, you are my second momma and I know that you are always there for me.  I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!  You deserve the world and I know you can do it!  Keep up the amazing work!  Jamie, it’s pretty cool that we’ve been nearly aligned this through this whole thing.  It’s great to have someone to squat challenge with and to celebrate cute dresses with.  You inspire me to keep going!  Keep it up, girl!  I promise I’ll stop saying cray.  Just kidding, I won’t.  Love you both!

Candice, ‘member that time we flew that plane and played Bang, Bang on repeat?  I love you for always saying how skinny I look because some days I really need it.  We are kindred for our love of all things pumpkin and glitter.  Also, you have the cutest kids on the planet.  Thank you for always making me laugh and for your loyal blog following.  I’m sorry for that time I said that girl’s hair bump was bigger than yours.  You are funny, despite what spouse says. :)

Paul T., thank you being a part of my Gainesville family and for that extremely eye opening talk at FL/GA about the male brain.  Thank you for the countless dinners and lunches, asshole.  :)

To all my other amazing friends and dedicated readers, Brother Chris, Shivonne, Jennifer P., Alex L-S, Kayla C., Stefani B., Tara K. and my Gator family- Linda, Jim & Beth.

To anyone else who reads the blog that I might not be aware of, whether we’re friends IRL, Facebook friends or have never met, thank you.  I’m thankful that you take time out of your day to stop by and read!

Finally, I’m super thankful for Gator football, Gainesville Health and Fitness Center, my spin instructor, and peanut butter.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  I hope you have an amazing day with family, friends and food.  Take a moment to offer thanks for the blessings in your life.  Also, eat some dang pumpkin pie AND apple pie for me.  Bonus points if you warm them and top with ice cream!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Splurge Saturday

I have to start today with an embarrassing moment that wasn’t embarrassing at all and was extremely humbling.  On Friday, during spin class, my instructor starts off class with, “Whenever I hear about success stories, I love sharing them with you guys.  I hope I’m not embarrassing her but Sarah, up here in the front raise your hand.  Sarah has lost 80 lbs.”  This was followed up with applause and cheers and me grinning from ear to ear.  Several people came up to me after class to congratulate me and I was beyond grateful.  There was this one lady who is in her upper 70s and recently completed a marathon.  She was telling me how great I looked and how she’d noticed how much work I’ve been putting in.  Me great?  Ma’am, I want to be YOU one day.  She’s in the gym every morning and RAN A MARATHON.  Regardless of her age, that’s still awesome.  You can’t have a bad day when it starts with such encouragement.  It was exactly what I needed to reassure myself that it’s about how far you’ve come not how far you have left to go.

With December right around the corner, I have decided to implement Splurge Saturday.  I made a list of all the foods I want to eat.  Some are a singular food and others are a meal.  I’m hoping that if I have something to look forward to, I will stay better on track during the week.  This list made me realize that I haven’t had pizza since June 30th.  Yep, I know the exact date because it was the last day I was in NYC after my 2 trips there this summer.  It’s amazing the foods you want when you haven’t had them in so long.  I’m not sure why so many of them involve bananas or fast food.  A few items have been crossed off because I had them between when I made the list and today.  I only get ONE item per Saturday.  I might need another New York trip soon to get a pistachio muffin and a bagel with butter, which would require being there for 2 Saturdays, darn!  I could extend it to 3 weeks so I could have pizza, too.  Thank God they built a Shake Shack in Orlando, otherwise I'd need to move to NYC.  Also, cupcakes didn’t make this list because they’re a DUH with my birthday approaching.  The holidays, my birthday and a Savannah mini-vacation with friends are all challenges on my horizon.  Consistency in the gym and moderation are going to be my besties these next 6 weeks.  Stay tuned.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Toys 'R' Us Kid

A few months ago, the owner of the company I work for asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I, at first, was really offended by the accusation that I’m not already a grown up.  I pay bills, I vote, I have a 401K, and I manage to keep myself and a very snarky dachshund alive.  Do these not allow me to sit at the adults table?  I equate being a grown up with growing and I hope I never stop doing that.  I hope I never stop learning, changing and accomplishing.  If you finally reach this elusive grown up status, are you done with life?  Nope!  Just because you have a steady job, husband/wife, mortgage payment, kids and responsibilities, doesn’t mean you are done living and finding yourself.  I know it sounds extremely Peter Pan of me but I never want to stop growing up.
My 28th birthday is exactly one month from this past Saturday.  I can’t believe how much I’ve grown in the last year.  I’m trying to focus on many self improvements and that will be a constant in my life.  I’ve done so much self evaluation and reflection this past year.  I’m incredibly proud of the person that I’m growing in to.  Turning 28 used to be a moment of drama for me—another year closer to THIRTY!  Ugh, how awful.  The last few months, I’ve had a change of heart and am really looking forward to the next year.  Twenty seven was a dang good year and I can only imagine that it goes up from here.  Thinking about that age old interview question, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  I honestly have no freaking clue and for the first time I don’t care.  I’m kind of done worrying about what’s going to happen next because it makes you miss out on what’s happening right now.  Right now, I’m healthy, happy and optimistic.

So, now you’re wondering what I want for my birthday, right?  I want to be surprised.  Like an honest to God, I didn’t see this coming, hand over mouth, surprise.  It doesn’t have to be a gift. In fact, I hope it’s not.  Maybe it will be witnessing a miracle.  Maybe it will be meeting my goal.  Maybe I’ll be cured of my excessive sweating.  Maybe I’ll meet Justin Timberlake.  Heck, it could be all of these things!  That’s the beauty of a surprise; they’re unexpected, exciting and the best ones don’t require wrapping paper!

Does he look thinner? :)

My Supa Proud award this week is going to my Oliver.  He’s managed to lose ½ a pound on his diet.  Keep up the great work, moo moo!  I know it’s hard work and you’re hungry but we need to make sure your back always stays in tip-top shape.  I love you even though you steal my socks.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Wobble Wobble if I Gobble Gobble

Before I get to today’s post, I have to give a HUGE thank you to the random stranger at the gym who made me cry on Friday.  I was on my spin bike warming up before class started and a woman approached me to tell me how great I look.  She said that my transformation is tremendous and she noticed when I was running on the treadmill the other day how much weight I had lost.  I couldn’t say thank you enough.  When she walked away, I started tearing up.  This person, who I’ve never met before, who doesn’t even know my name, not only noticed that I’d lost weight but took the time to compliment me.  It seriously made my day and, quite possibly, my year.  I wanted to find her after class to thank her again but she left before we cooled down.  I know she doesn’t read my blog but THANK YOU, lady on bike #6.  You make me want to be a better person because you complimented a complete stranger on something that she struggles with every day.

The great debate plaguing me lately is whether to attend Thanksgiving dinner or not.  Every year, we go to my mom’s Aunt’s house down in Vero Beach.  I love Thanksgiving.  It’s about family, football and FOOD, hence, my aversion to participating.  What is Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes, corn casserole, stuffing, crescent rolls, green bean casserole (my personal fave), gravy, pumpkin pie or apple pie?  Turkey.  It’s basically just eating the turkey.  Sure, I can eat my turkey with a salad and plain veggies and make my own dessert to bring but the challenge is being around all that food.  I could just take the day off and, mildly, enjoy some of my holiday favorites, however, my goal day is exactly 1 week from Turkey Day.  I need every point I can earn leading up to that day.  I’ve entertained other alternatives to celebrating the day like staying in Gainesville at my apartment for a movie-fest day or taking a mini-vacation somewhere but being solo on a holiday just sounded sad.

With 100 percent certainty I can tell you what I will miss the most about Thanksgiving is leftover turkey sandwiches.  The soft, fluffy white bread with just mayo and turkey is my absolute FAVE!  I die at the thought.  I will simply have to focus on all of the shopping that I plan on doing on Black Friday.  Yep, I’m that person.  I will be out with my shopping buddy, Aly, early in the a.m. to snag some great deals.  This girl has a winter wardrobe to rebuild, y’all.  So, when the carb-tastic food is being passed under my nose, I will be dreaming of the skinny jeans, leggings and sweaters that will soon fill my closet.  Hopefully, it will be enough for me to resist!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

I Love Food.

There, I said it! Hi, my name is Sarah and I love food and like 5 people. If I’m not eating, I’m usually thinking about what I’m eating next. I am definitely a person who lives to eat versus what you’re supposed to do by eating to live. I really miss cooking and my new life doesn’t lend itself to much kitchen time these days. I was being extremely adventurous last weekend and I tried 3 new recipes. They were all boss. Since I love you all so much, I will kindly share my new food adventures with you.

Protein cheesecake. Holy, delicious. I found this recipe from a girl I follow on the Instagram and substituted her strawberry protein powder for my recently purchased Cellucor red velvet. On Tuesday,I made the cheesecake on Sunday, I realized that I forgot to add Stevia. I actually think it tasted amazing without it but I will add it in next time to compare. You’ll need:

  • 2 6 oz. containers of plain Greek yogurt (I used Chobani)
  • 2 8 oz. bars of lower fat cream cheese, at room temp. (I used Philadelphia because I’m not a huge fan of the taste of Neufchatel)
  • 1 ½ cups of baking Stevia (or don’t because I didn’t)
  • 2 scoops protein powder (I used red velvet but I’m sure any flavor would work)
  • 2 whole eggs
  • 2 egg whites
  • Vanilla (recipe didn’t specify but I used a tsp.)
I mixed all of the above with an immersion blender and poured in a greased pie pan. You bake it at 200 degrees for 20 minutes and crank it up to 300 degrees for 35 minutes. Let it cool back to room temperature and cover and refrigerate. Of course, I added a bit of peanut butter and whipped cream to mine. The texture was exactly what I was expecting. The edges were a little dry but the center of the cake was perfect.

Canadian bacon pizza cups. You can pretty much guess what’s in them but I’ll tell you in case you’re not sure:

Canadian bacon. Marinara sauce. Cheese.

I baked Canadian bacon slices in a muffin tin at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Next, add a spoonful of sauce to each and sprinkle cheese on the top. I put these under the broiler until the cheese melted and the smoke detector went off. They’re done! Reminder to clean my oven. These were epic and life changing. You can see from the photo that even Oliver wanted to snag some but he got nothing as he’s still on a diet. Poor baby. You can totally use whatever sauce you prefer. I use a Publix brand sauce as it had the lowest sugar and carbs on the sauce aisle. All I did was check some labels and narrow them down. Reading is wonderful, peeps!

Cilantro lime chicken. This is a Crockpot recipe so I’m already in love with it. It’s so freaking simple that it’s ridiculous I don’t do this more often.
  • Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (do as many can fit in your crock, mine fit 3)
  • 3 limes (recipe I was following called for 5 but that seemed excessive)
  • 1 clove minced garlic (if you haven’t purchased the squeeze tube of this, go do it right now. Life is so much better with pre-minced garlic. My Italian DNA is shamed.)
  • Chicken broth
  • 1 white onion
  • Fresh cilantro
  • Salt and pepper
Put the chicken breasts in the bottom of the Crockpot (you can also use a whole chicken). Squeeze the juice of 3 limes into the pot. Pour in some chicken broth until the chickens are nearly covered. Cube the white onion and throw that in. Add garlic and sprinkle salt and pepper in. Add several stalks of cilantro on top. Put your lid on and cook for 4-6 hours. I set my crock at 6 hours but got impatient and only cooked chickens for 4 hours. They were perfect! The smell in your house will also be INSANE. Once cooked, throw away the wilted cilantro stalks. I pulled out the chicken breasts and put into a dish and shredded with 2 forks. I saved the onion and added it to the shredded chicken. I strained a little of the liquid back onto the shredded chicken to add some moisture back to it. I chopped some fresh cilantro and tossed it in with the chicken and onions. This chicken would be AMAZING in some tacos or on nachos but this Mexican food junkie just ate it with a side salad.

Sunday had me feeling very much like Aunt Martha (Stewart, duh). Links to the two actual recipes I (kind of) followed are below. I wouldn’t lie about food so you guys know these things taste good. I haven’t lost all sense! Happy eating!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I’m a Bad-Ass Mother Who Don’t Take No Crap From Nobody

You can see my sweat.
For those of you who think my English is shot to hell and don’t know that I’m quoting Cool Runnings, shame on you! Go rent it right now. I’ve been feeling like a bad-ass mother this week. I’m not sure if all of the endorphins are getting to my head but I am feeling so strong and able lately. I can feel muscles in places I never knew were supposed to have muscles. I, obviously, have a long way to go but I can totally see progress in my photos. Sorry, kids, these photos will never be for public view since I’m in my undies. You’ll just have to trust me. The thing that no one tells you about weight training is how much time it takes. There are people who have been sculpting their bodies for years, which is frustrating for those of us with little patience. I know I’ve said it before but it’s really in the little things. For example, this month’s squat challenge is so much easier than the last one and this one is more squats each day! My form is better and I can rep the squats quicker. I even notice a difference in the way I walk. While out with Oliver the other day, I realized that I was almost gliding. Such little effort is required to walk, stand up and climb up stairs that it’s weird to stop and think about how difficult things used to be. I don’t feel as weighed down, which seems obvious since I’ve lost 80 lbs. but everything is just easier. It’s hard to explain but I hope y’all get it.

Duck face- you're welcome
I decided that I’m making a shirt that says, “I Can Rack My Own Weights,” because help has been offered to me TWICE again this week. I’m a girl, not incapable. Back off my plates! I realize that guys might be being nice but I’m insulted. I was kind of rude to the guy who just started pulling plates off my calf machine yesterday morning.  I faked a, "Thank you," in the nicest way I could.  It feels funny to say this aloud but I feel really cocky lately. I lived my entire life as a self-conscious person and shedding that insecurity is the most difficult thing I’ve had to do this year. To feel so good and know I look good is so foreign to me. I was like strutting around the gym this morning and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was taken aback at how slim I looked. I hate gym selfies and refuse to promote douchebaggary so I captured myself when I got home! The gym is basically my 3rd home after work and my actual apartment. I was once a scared girl who would run to a treadmill and not make eye contact with anyone. That girl is long gone. I’m so comfortable at the gym and am always trying new machines and workouts. I never thought I would be someone who is excited to lift, can’t miss a spin class without being bummed or wakes up at 4:15 a.m. It’s never too late to become the person you see yourself as or to go after a dream. You just need a plan, some focus and a drive to succeed.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Gretchen Wieners Had Cracked

I’ve had my share of meltdowns over the last 42 weeks. Whether they be personal or professional, I can usually call one of my therapists and they talk me off the ledge. Last week, I cracked.

I am a serial scale user. It’s a HORRIBLE habit, I know, but it’s one that I cannot step away from. I weigh myself every day. I don’t weigh throughout the day, it’s always just in the morning. I was up 6 pounds last Sunday morning. Not a huge crisis as I did eat and drink things I shouldn’t have on Saturday while at the mother of all football games, Florida/Georgia. I knew that this day would be challenging and accepted it, which is why I prepped and worked out so much the prior week. Monday began the week just like all the others except I was still up those 6 pounds. Hmmmm. I kept working out, stuck to my eating plan and flooded myself with lots of water. By Thursday, those 6 pounds were still hanging around. This wasn’t phantom weight gain that sometimes shows itself after a late dinner, a carb fest, retaining water, etc. This weight gain was for real. I had no warning, no slow creep of a few pounds at a time. My body gave me a big eff you and gained 6 pounds. The only thing I can attribute it to is my recent obsession with oatmeal. I eat it every day. I love it. I used to HATE oatmeal and now I can’t go a day without it. I figured there were worse things I could be addicted to than weight-control oatmeal. Lies.

At last Wednesday’s spin class, it’s slowly sinking in that I’m legitimately up 6 pounds, seemingly overnight. We’re doing a climb and Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer is playing and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. This is the LAST thing I need 4 weeks before my goal date. I feel like a fucking failure (sorry, ma’). I cried the whole way home from the gym. I feel so defeated. How am I ever going to get back to real life if eating OATMEAL makes me gain 6 pounds? I totally deserve to gain like 2 pounds after the weekend shenanigans but 6?! What did I do to deserve that?

I’m so tired. I’m so sick of over analyzing everything I do. I could spend all day researching my next step, tracking my workouts and food, and planning my life but I have a job and responsibilities. I wish I could live in a world where I didn’t have to think about food at all times of the day. Saying, “I wish I could eat whatever I want,” is completely unrealistic unless you have the gold medal of metabolisms. I do wish that I could take a day off and not feel like I’ve taken 6 steps back because of it. I cracked to my friends. I cracked on the phone with my mom that night. I will not make my goal. I refuse to do anything unhealthy or completely starve myself to try to lose weight quicker.

I slowly realize that sometimes things won’t make sense but you just have to roll with it. It sucks but this is where I am and life is going to keep moving. This particular week, my body decided that it wanted to weigh 216 lbs. For those of you who think there are magical secrets that I am hoarding and that weight is just melting off of me, you’re wrong. This is my REAL life and I struggle just like everyone. I put enormous pressure on myself with these goals by putting dates on the end of them. For a brief second, during the crack, I became old Sarah who doubted herself and let herself believe that she couldn’t do something. ­ I can’t take the goals back and I refuse to stop trying just because they seem that much more out of reach. It’s Sunday and the 6 lbs. are gone. I’m back to sitting at 210 lbs. So, dear readers, while I probably won’t make my goal of 92 lbs. lost by December 4th, I do promise to not stop trying. I will make it to 199 lbs. sometime soon and, with the right mindset, it will hopefully be before ringing in 2015.

Say crack again.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Even My Dog is Chubby

Anyone remember that weirdo impression you did as a kid of the kid named Chubby? You know, where you smush your cheeks together and say, “My name is Chubby. My mom’s chubby, my dad’s chubby and even my dog is chubby.” First, what the hell? Why was this remotely entertaining as a child? Second, I wish I could remember the rest. I really hope someone knows what I’m talking about otherwise I sound like a lunatic. Nothing new. Three weeks ago, I took Oliver to the vet for his annual checkup. Little man weighed in at 23 lbs! He used to teeter between 17 and 20 lbs. but this is definitely the heaviest he’s been. The vet comes in and we’ve never met before. He’s a new doctor on staff and is supaaaaaaa cute. I digress. The first thing we talk about is how Oliver is overweight. Poor guy. I felt like I needed to explain that Oliver comes from a chubby family but we’re really working on getting ourselves on the right path. I mean, he just turned 5 years old and he’s been less active lately. I felt like I was in trouble for Oliver being a chunky monkey. Because Ollie is a dachshund, excessive weight can be really dangerous for his back. All I could think of in that vet office was Chubby and his family’s epidemic of being fat. Then, I was embarrassed because I convinced myself that they were judging me being overweight so naturally I’d have an overweight dog. Yes, I realize that this is all probably in my head but these are the actual conversations I have with myself.

After a shot and several treats, Oliver and I headed home to begin his new diet plan. He’s on reduced food and I swear he’s depressed over it. Last night he laid by the kitchen with the biggest, sad eyes looking at me and then looking toward the kitchen. I get it, bud, you’re hungry. Join the club. We’re getting T-shirts. I was quickly able to distract him with a toy much in the way I distract myself from hunger with shopping. This morning, we had a conversation about the importance of exercise and healthy eating habits. I told Oliver that he needed to stop finding waffles and cheeseburgers in the bushes on our walks (yep, that happens all the time). There was that time I had to pick him up and carry him because he was fighting me so badly to get to a Swiss cake roll. He can also spot a McDonald’s bag from about 100 feet away. Seriously, who is leaving uneaten French fries in the parking lot? You need to reevaluate your life. They say that dogs resemble their owners! Oliver has my attitude, is super cuddly and loves all things food.  Just like his momma.

The entire Stewart household is officially dieting and exercising more. I can’t believe it! I also can’t believe that “smush” isn’t a real word. The red squiggly line underneath it in Word told me so.

This week my Supa Proud Award is going to...drum roll, please...THE FLORIDA GATORS!  Holy, Moses, I can't believe the game against UGA this past weekend.  I might take back all the mean things I said about Will Muschamp IF he can pull out a win against Florida State, too.  Hey, a girl can dream!  Happy Wednesday and, as always, go gators!

Monday, November 3, 2014

The Week I Punched Everyone in The Face

The new workout plan is going extremely well. I should NOT have complained about not being sore in a while and am definitely paying for it this week. Everything hurts. I went to the gym all 5 days last week at 5 a.m. and busted it out while I was there. I might need to switch some things up because it seems like everyone does legs on Tuesdays. I originally started doing legs on Tuesdays because it was far enough from Friday’s spin class for me to be able to make it through the class. Now that I’m in shape and spinning 3 times a week, I can really do legs any day. I focused on quads and glutes last Tuesday and was having trouble getting on the leg press machine. I spotted an opening and booked it. Well, there was a guy who was rotating machines but he said I could jump in and use it while he was doing hammy curls. Then, he went to take weight plates off the press. “Let me grab some of these off for you,” he said while reaching for the plates. I punched him in the face. “I got it,” I interrupted and began adding weights. I’m insulted that he thought I couldn’t handle the 135 lbs. he was pressing. Is it because I’m a girl? Because this girl reps 270.

On Fridays, at the 6 a.m. spin class, it’s more crowded so you have to get there early to reserve a bike. Normally, not an issue at 5 a.m. class on Monday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, I was running a little behind but I got to the spin room with 5 minutes to spare. There he is, some jerk face is sitting on my bike! Listen, sir, I sit on bike #9 every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. I basically have my name written on it. As I walked by him to find another bike, I punched him in the face. The bike I had to use had an uncomfortable seat and would click at the pedal when I was in standing position. I can’t live like this. I’m going to suggest to the gym that we be able to reserve certain bikes. It’s a matter of health. Well, mental health as I’m a creature of habit and don’t like change. Bike #9 is my jam. I’m pretty sure the seat has molded to my ass at this point. It’s in the middle of the front row, which provides the perfect view of the screen and the instructor. It’s not too cold as the fans circulate on the rows further back and the acoustics are perfect. Second mental punch in the face of the week down.

On Friday, another spin morning, I decided to do some light legs before class. I was still hurting from Tuesday’s quad workouts but really needed to squeeze in more leg work for the week. I grabbed a Smith machine to do some squats and was using light weights so I could actually walk over the weekend. All of a sudden, a man comes up and takes the only 45 lb. plates off of my machine. Ummmmm, excuse me? I interrupt my new T. Swift 1989 album playlist and rip off my earbuds. “Are you going to bring those back when you’re done?” I attempted to sweetly ask. “I can. I didn’t think you were going to use them since you’ve only got 25s on there now,” he replied. I look around to the other TWO Smith machines behind mine. Both have about six 45 lb. plates each and both have DUDES at them. Is this because I’m a girl, again? Did you pick my plates because you assumed I wasn’t using them and couldn’t handle them? I was so irritated but being the non-confrontational and nice person that I am, I just replied, “I was going to use them but I can grab some from the other machines if you’re not done when I need them.” But don’t you worry, dear reader, I punched him in the face. I was legitimately going to use the plates as part of the new workout program is to increase weights and decrease reps as my sets go on.

Obviously, no one taught these guys that you don’t mess with redheads. Especially one that is more than likely hungry!

Please note, no humans were actually harmed in the making of this body. All punches thrown were 100 percent mental and completely deserved.