Monday, November 3, 2014

The Week I Punched Everyone in The Face

The new workout plan is going extremely well. I should NOT have complained about not being sore in a while and am definitely paying for it this week. Everything hurts. I went to the gym all 5 days last week at 5 a.m. and busted it out while I was there. I might need to switch some things up because it seems like everyone does legs on Tuesdays. I originally started doing legs on Tuesdays because it was far enough from Friday’s spin class for me to be able to make it through the class. Now that I’m in shape and spinning 3 times a week, I can really do legs any day. I focused on quads and glutes last Tuesday and was having trouble getting on the leg press machine. I spotted an opening and booked it. Well, there was a guy who was rotating machines but he said I could jump in and use it while he was doing hammy curls. Then, he went to take weight plates off the press. “Let me grab some of these off for you,” he said while reaching for the plates. I punched him in the face. “I got it,” I interrupted and began adding weights. I’m insulted that he thought I couldn’t handle the 135 lbs. he was pressing. Is it because I’m a girl? Because this girl reps 270.

On Fridays, at the 6 a.m. spin class, it’s more crowded so you have to get there early to reserve a bike. Normally, not an issue at 5 a.m. class on Monday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, I was running a little behind but I got to the spin room with 5 minutes to spare. There he is, some jerk face is sitting on my bike! Listen, sir, I sit on bike #9 every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. I basically have my name written on it. As I walked by him to find another bike, I punched him in the face. The bike I had to use had an uncomfortable seat and would click at the pedal when I was in standing position. I can’t live like this. I’m going to suggest to the gym that we be able to reserve certain bikes. It’s a matter of health. Well, mental health as I’m a creature of habit and don’t like change. Bike #9 is my jam. I’m pretty sure the seat has molded to my ass at this point. It’s in the middle of the front row, which provides the perfect view of the screen and the instructor. It’s not too cold as the fans circulate on the rows further back and the acoustics are perfect. Second mental punch in the face of the week down.

On Friday, another spin morning, I decided to do some light legs before class. I was still hurting from Tuesday’s quad workouts but really needed to squeeze in more leg work for the week. I grabbed a Smith machine to do some squats and was using light weights so I could actually walk over the weekend. All of a sudden, a man comes up and takes the only 45 lb. plates off of my machine. Ummmmm, excuse me? I interrupt my new T. Swift 1989 album playlist and rip off my earbuds. “Are you going to bring those back when you’re done?” I attempted to sweetly ask. “I can. I didn’t think you were going to use them since you’ve only got 25s on there now,” he replied. I look around to the other TWO Smith machines behind mine. Both have about six 45 lb. plates each and both have DUDES at them. Is this because I’m a girl, again? Did you pick my plates because you assumed I wasn’t using them and couldn’t handle them? I was so irritated but being the non-confrontational and nice person that I am, I just replied, “I was going to use them but I can grab some from the other machines if you’re not done when I need them.” But don’t you worry, dear reader, I punched him in the face. I was legitimately going to use the plates as part of the new workout program is to increase weights and decrease reps as my sets go on.

Obviously, no one taught these guys that you don’t mess with redheads. Especially one that is more than likely hungry!

Please note, no humans were actually harmed in the making of this body. All punches thrown were 100 percent mental and completely deserved.

1 comment:

Jennifer Pedersen said...

�������� you tell em'