Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Fishing in The Dark

Posts have been sporadic and I take full responsibility but I’ve been out there choosing happiness, y’all! I’ve come to the realization that my soul mate is not waiting for me at Publix. He’s also not at Target or at my mailbox or at Midtown (bars!). As of last Thursday, I’ve officially rejoined the online dating world. Please pray for me. As a repeat, I decided to go a different route this time and join POF (Plenty of Fish). I was busy making my profile by answering questions and filling in the blanks that I’d almost forgotten my fear of that one particular qualifier, “Body Type.” Ugh. My options: thin (hahaha), average (hmmm), a few extra pounds (preach), BBW (big, beautiful woman for those unfamiliar). In the past, I would have selected “a few extra pounds” and shamefully it should have read, “a hundred extra pounds.” Here’s a fun fact, the average size of an American woman is a 14. Ta-Da! This girl is now considered “average.” I prefer “spectacular” but that’s not an option. Tsk, tsk, POF. My about me section states that I go to the gym 4-5 days per week and need someone on my fitness level. Admittedly, when I see a heavier person with gym stats like that I kind of wonder how truthful they’re being. In order to combat these naysayers, my profile reads, “I'm at the gym 4-5 days a week (you should see my before picture!) and need someone who also lives an active lifestyle.” BOOM! I should start walking around in a before picture T-shirt. Well, dear reader, I’m not sure if it’s my slimmer figure or my “average” status but I blew up. I was flooded with messages and notifications from the app. I’m legit not bragging here, as most of them went unanswered for multiple reasons (most were creeper status). So, I’m out there. I’m giving this thing a try.

The thing I still struggle with is when to bring up old Sarah and new Sarah’s blog. This blog is like a diary and has SUPER personal information and I’m not sure I want someone reading it all here first. Your past inevitably shapes you but it doesn’t have to be the first line of your story. Could you imagine me showing up to meet a date for a drink, sitting down and saying, “Hi. I’m Sarah. I’ve lost 90 pounds and I write this blog that’s sometimes funny and sometimes really sad slash raw.” Uhhhh, no. With every new contender comes the peeling back of the layers. Layer by layer, the blog will expose itself. The right person will think it is awesome, run home immediately to read it and text me that I’m so cute and hilarious.

For now, I’m keeping date details close to the vest but will keep you posted of any progress and funny anecdotes that I can share without jeopardizing anything. Always, always, always CHOOSE HAPPINESS!