Wednesday, April 8, 2015

In This Skin

I decided to have a #lovemyselfie celebration this past weekend.  Friday and Saturday marked two huge milestones for me, I was comfortable with myself.  On Friday night, I was going out with a friend and decided that I wanted to wear a dress.  A sleeveless dress.  Without a cardigan.  The rare times that I do go sleeveless are usually because of some formal event.  Everyday sleeveless or strapless dresses are always worn with a cardigan in order to hide my arms.  I'm usually super self-conscious about my flabby arms and going out sans sleeves was a huge deal.  Especially since we were at several college-crowd bars.  Sure, my arms still jiggle more than I would like them to but I'm not over here doing the wave or anything.  I'm 100 percent positive that the swarms of girls in cutoffs with their cheeks (not face) hanging out were getting more stares than my arms.  On that note, girls, put those away!  Crack or cheek are NEVER a fashion statement.

About a week ago, I was asked to go to a water park in Orlando on Saturday.  My immediate reaction was, "Hell no!  I'm not walking around in my bathing suit all day."  After much debate and a severe case of not wanting to miss out (FOMO!), I decided to go.  My bathing suit is a bit big in areas as it's from last year but I made it work and didn't give anyone a show (that I know of).  I didn't wear shorts.  I didn't walk around in a cover up or T-shirt.  It was just me in my super cute orange suit.  A few years ago I wouldn't be caught dead walking around comfortable in my bathing suit.  Remember when I said I was the girl who wouldn't even take her shirt off for the doctor?  Today, this girl didn't give a rats about what she looked like.  Sometimes I wish I had a shirt that said, "You should see my before picture."  Strangers might not know how far I've come but I sure as shit do and I feel so much better about myself.  Sure, there were cute girls in bikinis who would make anyone feel bad about what they looked like but I didn't care at all.  I was having so much fun that I forgot about any qualms I had about my exposed body.  Also, how awesome is it that I didn't have to worry about weight limits?!?  Most rides had a 300 lb. max and not too long ago I was severely close to that marker.  Another comfort I have now is me without makeup.  I have blonde eyelashes and eyebrows.  Most people don't know what I look like without makeup.  I was the girl who, at minimum, always wore mascara.  Even waterproof couldn't survive the water park so bare face was my only option.  Again, it didn't bother me!  I never wear makeup at the gym and have become so much more accepting of the way I look without it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not without insecurities but I am becoming more comfy in this skin.  I'm slowly learning that people will accept me and love me regardless of my imperfections.

2 comments:

Stefani Bennett said...

I haven't bought nor worn a bathing suit since 2010. Thanks for the inspiration Skinny Sa-Sa-Sarah, 2015 might just be the year for me!!!! Keep doing what you do girlie, you're motivating many near and far!!!!

Sarah Stewart said...

You can do it, Stef! I know you'll look fab!