Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I Don't Know How She Does It

It’s confession time, y’all--the juggle struggle is real. I’m having an extremely hard time juggling all of the stuff going on in life right now: gym, eating right, single-mom hood to Oliver, dating, work, blogging, personal life, etc. I’m up about 6 lbs. right now and am feeling awful and disgusting. It’s AMAZING how different what used to be a few pounds feels like. I can see this weight gain in my face, I feel it in my gut and am severely aware of it when my new shorts are cutting into my muffin top. Six pounds used to be no big deal but nowadays it’s HUGE! And so am I. My work is a little out of control lately and I’ve traveled out of town at least once during the last 4 weeks. I’ve been grabbing food on the run and barely getting in gym time. I’m embarrassed and cannot seem to get a handle on it. Dessert one night has turned into dessert every night. Fast food one day lead to fast food multiple days. It’s disgusting and I hate admitting it but I know that some of you can relate.

I feel like life is going in waves, I’ll be feeling so amazing and then ruin all of it in a few days. I’m back on track today and started a juice cleanse again. I’m only doing 2 days and this first day is a little different. I’ll report on it later this week when it’s over to let you know how it went. I’m hoping this baby cleanse will help clear the bloat in my gut and make me feel a little better leading into the weekend. I have a cruise coming up in a few weeks and would like to hit a certain number before embarking. I have to motivate myself because I want to look good in my cute new suit and not feel guilty if I indulge a little when I’m on the high seas.

Lifestyle changes are hard and I know I’ve said before how I’m in awe of people with children who are able to juggle so much. I’m learning and trying to improve but I think it’s going to take a little time. Life might be insane but I’m always thinking about the blog. I think I spoiled everyone with my frequent postings in the beginning and I’m having trouble keeping up. Thank you, as usual, for your continued reading and support!!

Monday, May 18, 2015

Take me to Church

Just a reminder, here on Sarah Chose Happy I am striving for balance. I seek opportunities to better my physical, mental and spiritual self on a near-daily basis.  I remind you because today isn't really about weight loss.  I was raised in the Catholic church and stopped attending mass and practicing for several years due to a lot of personal reasons.  Seeking solace, I started attending mass at the end of this past November.  I went to a few different churches in Gainesville and finally found one that I really enjoy.  I get that religion can be a taboo topic but I'm pretty much an open book in life so it was time to share my experience with you, dear reader.  Going to church makes me feel better.  It's as plain and simple as that.  Do I agree with all of the beliefs and doctrines laid out by the church or my denomination?  Nope, sure don't but that doesn't mean I can't attend.  I kind of relate this to a person's upbringing.  Your parents raise you to be a certain way.  They teach you right from wrong, good from bad and their beliefs on life.  However, eventually you grow up and develop your own views on the world but you still show up for Christmas dinner and love your parents.  I may disagree with parts of the faith I follow but the overarching belief in something greater than myself is there.

The church I've chosen to attend asks you to turn to your neighbor and offer to pray for their intentions.  The best was when the little old man next to me whispered, "I got you."  A few months ago, a woman in my pew leaned over and asked if I had any intentions I'd like her to pray over.  I kindly said, "Thank you but no."  I don't feel comfortable sharing my personal prayers with strangers and, honestly, it's a long list and we didn't have a lot of time.  I, regretfully, didn't ask her in return.  I don't know why but it was a jerk move on my part.  I was new and uncomfortable with the whole situation.  I regretted it that day and still did weeks later.  One Sunday, the woman was in my pew again and I was determined to offer to pray for her intentions.  The time came, she offered, I declined and I asked her, "What about you?"  She asked me to pray for her youngest sister who has been diagnosed with cancer for the second time.  Suddenly, my problems seemed so small, tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  I realized in that moment that we're all struggling with something and you never know what the people you meet are going through. I'm not sure why this encounter struck me the way it did and made me so emotional but it has left me thinking a lot about the power of prayer.  Agree with me or don't, I don't really care because it's MY blog, but I truly believe that prayers can be answered.

Has everyone seen the movie Bruce Almighty?  If not, go rent it--it's hilarious.  When Bruce takes over the ability to answer prayers on behalf of Morgan Freeman (God), you hear the ridiculous things that people pray for like winning the lottery, losing weight on the jelly bean diet, a favorite sports team winning a major title, etc.  I used to be THAT person praying for such nonsense.  I spent countless nights praying to lose weight, "God please just make me skinny," but it doesn't work like that.  I started, instead, to pray for strength, willpower, determination and knowledge.  I prayed to believe in myself that I could achieve something amazing on my own.  Well, you all know how that turned out.  I decided in November that I had so much to be thankful for and so many blessings bestowed upon my life that I needed to start dedicating time to church.  I might not make it every week but I give thanks to Him for granting me with my able body, focused mind and positive attitude.  I pray for the strength to continue when I feel like giving up.  I pray to be an inspiration to those around me and hope they realize their own capabilities.  I also pray for guidance to be on the right path.  Conversely, there's also power in the unanswered prayer and I want to thank Him for a lot of those that occurred the past few years.  I prayed really hard for something that was never meant to be and I'm elated He knew better.  Those unanswered prayers made me more self aware, stronger and happier.  I trust in His plan for me that everything will turn out as it should.

How's that for Monday motivation?  Have a great week, friends!

Friday, May 15, 2015

A+ Student

I've officially been attending my weight loss clinic for 69 weeks.  I actually had to go back and count because I don't really keep track of these things anymore.  Last year, I could tell you what week I was on, I kept a weekly log of my measurements and weight, and I took photos of myself every month.  All of that has fallen by the wayside.  Why?  Because it doesn't matter anymore.  I was obsessed with the numbers of weight loss but now it's more about looking good and FEELING good.  As long as my clothes are fitting (or getting loose) and I'm seeing results on the scale, I'm totally okay with not knowing my waist size or documenting what I look like in my undies.

I went for my monthly appointment yesterday and discovered that I am an A+ student.  I saw a new dietitian as my appointment was later in the day and she was SO impressed by my success.  She told me that she's never seen anyone who has attended the place this long and not gained weight.  She said most come and go, losing and gaining, over the span of months, years, etc.  She was super impressed and basically called me a star student.  I've always been good at school!  I lost 3 lbs. this past month and finally hit the 90 lb. mark on their scale.  Remember, I report my scale findings from home because I weigh first thing in the morning and naked.  :)  At the clinic, that's frowned upon so I'm consistently 3 lbs. heavier according to their scale.  Breakfast, snacks, clothes and shoes weigh a lot, people!

I've been feeling REALLY good lately and I'm actually up weight due to some last minute vacationing the last two weekends.  Otherwise, it would have been a STELLAR month on the scale.  I'm back on the grind as I have another getaway planned in two weeks and I want to be back down.  I'm really focusing on portion control and fat content as of late.  I've been really good about tracking my food and trying to hit my macros every day.  Reminder--macros are the portions of carbs, fats & proteins that make up the calories we consume.  I'm really feeling this way of eating and have seen proof of it working if you're diligent and consistent.  I've been super anxious about a lot of stuff the last few weeks so I've been fitting in extra gym time, too.  Oh, it's 3:30 a.m. and you can't sleep, Sarah?  Well, get up and go to the gym.  Okay, so that only happened like 3 times but I was able to get in such amazing workouts that early.  There weren't people in my way and I could stay longer.  It's time to get summer body ready as it's already hotter than Hades here in Florida.  Bathing suits are unforgiving and this girl doesn't want to cover up at the pool anymore.

The takeaway from today's post (I promise there are a few):
1.  Keep going, even when you feel like you can't anymore or want to give up, DON'T.  This shit takes time.
2.  If you're struggling, plan a small goal for yourself like a last minute trip to Disney World, a new bathing suit or a beach day.  It'll not only give you something to look forward to but it might help push you to stay focused.
3.  It cannot be one or the other--you have to put in time at the gym AND eat right.  BALANCE, peeps!
4.  I'm a success story and YOU CAN BE, TOO.  I shouldn't be such a shining example at the clinic because I haven't done anything that others can't.  I just didn't ever give up (see #1).

Happy Friday, yay weekend, make good choices!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Where Are You Goaling?

There’s a regular at the gym who frequently chats me up at the free weights. He says hi every morning and sometimes comments on what I’m doing, “Keep going, girl.” Last week, guy came up to me and commented on how much weight I’ve lost. I said thank you and kept on with my routine. He said, “What’s your name?” I told him, he introduced himself and then he said, “What’s your goal, Sarah?” Being put on the spot isn’t my best and I’m trying to count reps here so my response was, “To keep going.” I’ve lost sight of my goals the last few months and have nothing to blame it on but myself. I decided that this journey would have to be woven with my real life. Yes, I’ve still been dedicated to the gym but my routines could use a refresh. Yes, I’ve still balanced my eating with a 90 percent on, 10 percent off vibe. I haven’t derailed and I’m still losing weight but I’ve lost my focus. My goal for 2015 was to step up my game and guy at the gym reminded me that I don’t really have a quantifiable goal that I’m working toward. That changes now. I have 30 weeks until my birthday and I want to lose 30 additional lbs. It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to require a lot of food adjustment but I think once I dip below that 170 lb. mark, I’ll be comfortable with where I’m at. I’m declaring it out there to you, my blog world, so that you can help me get to where I’m going. It’s important to not lose sight of where you’re going. Remember, if you’re not working toward a goal how will you know once you’ve reached something great? I thought I was satisfied with just allowing my body to take it’s time but I’m not and I’m growing evermore impatient. Week 1—here I go!

I’ve been a SUPA slacker lately on blogging and on my Supa Proud Award. I know it’s not Wednesday but I just can’t wait. This week (and all the weeks, honestly) I’m supa proud of my friend Alex. Alex is a fellow chooser of happiness and has really taken life into her own hands recently. Alex- I LOVE YOU. You always say that I inspire you but you, dear friend, inspire me to infinity and beyond. You sought out the life you wanted and continue to aspire to greatness (and Snap Chat fame). Life would be less hilarious without you in it. Please never lose that spark that makes you amazing. In your honor, I end with several hashtags that are supa appropriate. #choosehappiness #beyoubegreat #perfectlyimperfect #makegoodchoices #prom2012 #bluedranks