Monday, July 13, 2015

Once It Hits Your Lips It's So Good

You loyal readers might remember that my “last supper” was McDonald's. I drove to it immediately following my first appointment at my weight-loss clinic and ate a Big Mac, fries and diet coke. That was January 16, 2014. I didn’t eat McDonald's again until May 31, 2015 and it was out of convenience. In the beginning, I cut out fast food entirely. Along the way, I would grab a drive-thru meal only when desperate and I intentionally avoided McDonald's in order to prove to myself I could make it through life without. In 6 weeks, I’ve eaten McDonald's 3 times. The first was breakfast while on a Disney vacay: egg white delight and a hash brown. The second was a crispy snack wrap while on a work road trip. The third was a 10 piece nugget meal and French fry because I was feeling weak. Yep, that happened. Obviously, McDonald's is my gateway drug. I actually CRAVE it. When I get it in my mind, I have to have it and I can’t think of eating anything else to pass the thoughts. So, my beloved arches, I’m done. It’s nothing personal, I just cannot resist your greasy goodness.

Let’s review my life’s history with that other redhead, Ronald McDonald. Papadopolous ran a McDonald's back in the early '80s. He was even the recipient of a Golden Spatula Award (you go, Pops). This was during the time we refer to in my family as BS (before Sarah, of course). McDonald's is just one of those ever-present experiences in your life as a kid. Slamming down some nuggets before running into the Play Place where you’d climb through tubes, slide down slides and face plant into a giant pit of plastic balls. I can remember singing the Big Mac song—yeah, there’s a song—with my mom as we ate them. “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.” Feel free to call me if you need me to sing the jingle to get the full effect. There was time in 7th grade when we sneaked out of my friend’s house and walked to McDonald's to get fries. It was about 2-3 miles away, along a major road and dark out but we were rebels I tell ya’. I remember that honey was a sauce option for nuggets (it tasted better on the fries), they used to have McDonaldland cookies (like animal crackers but with a hint of lemon flavor) in shapes of characters like Grimace, Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar, and Happy Meals used to come in a box.

McDonald's was a normal occurrence throughout my life and, weirdly, holds a lot of memories. Unfortunately, I cannot be trusted and once the golden arch gateway is opened I go ham (burger).

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