Monday, August 24, 2015

Lost Girl Found

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy.' They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." -John Lennon

One year ago yesterday I launched Sarah Chose Happy.  I still remember toiling over the decision to start a blog for weeks on end this time last year.  I had my editors (you know who you are) read a few of my initial entries and with their stamps of approval I moved forward.  The point of the blog was always to be an outlet for me to express the challenges and celebrations that come with my weight-loss journey.  Along the way, the blog turned into me setting an example to those around me.  I like to think of myself as a trend setter and I always feel ahead of the curve.  For example, I was rocking Navajo chic before the tribal print took over every clothing store.  I was obsessed with chevron when people still thought it was just a gas station chain.  While I certainly didn't start a "choosing happy movement," I do feel like I've seen more posts, discussions, and even a Today show series about happiness.  I love that I've heard from so many of you about how you empower yourselves, or even your kids, to make being happy a part of life.

While I am truly great with directions, I've felt very lost as of late.  Getting lost is starting to become a pattern in my life.  In December 2013, I was the most lost I've ever been.  I needed a way out of my life and had no idea where to begin.  In January 2014, as you loyal readers know, I started my program and began to find my way out of the dark hole.  Since that start day, I've been reading, researching, and educating myself on how to live a healthier life.  I look for new workouts, I read articles on muscle development and weight training, and I'm constantly figuring out things about food and diet.  I have to be honest and tell you that I find myself lost again.  A few months ago, I started getting chronic headaches.  I began attributing them to stress and tried to nail down a reason why every day I would wake up, and eventually go to sleep, with a pounding head.  The headaches were sporadic at first and then came on daily.  They were accompanied by a lot of sleepless nights and a whole lot of dizziness.  After working with my doctor, we narrowed down that a change in my medication (the one I use to aid my weight loss) might be the culprit.  As of two weeks ago, I am completely drug free.  It's incredibly scary to be off of something that has helped immensely change my life.  I suspect that only one of the medications was causing the headaches but decided to stop both of them simultaneously.  I know that I don't want to live my life as a slave to these drugs and I eventually would have to come off of them as they are not long-term medications.

As a result, and some REALLY terrible eating habits, I'm up weight.  I'm almost 10 lbs. heavier than I had gotten down to.  The headaches really derailed my eating and my exercise routine.  I was completely unmotivated and just didn't care about eating healthy.  I stopped choosing happy.  The last two months have been a total blur and most days I felt like I was in a fog.  Today, I'm excited to report that I'm really starting to feel back to normal.  I need to get back to the root of jump starting this second life (and this blog), which is me.  I am ready to start investing back into myself.  This is the perfect time because without medications I have to make sure that my diet and exercise are on point.

I want to thank all of my friends and family (and chocolate olive, too) for being supportive of me the last few months and for putting up with me.  I haven't been much fun and my mood has been sour.  I've been lagging in posts lately because I've just plain been unmotivated.  I hope to start year 2 of blogging with more frequent writing.  To do that, I've got to start living a blog-worthy life again!  Thank you, thank you, thank you, as always, for reading!