It was a Thursday, which made Thursdays my day. I would wake up, walk Oliver, weigh myself, write it down, take my measurements, write them down, weigh again (in case I lost a pound in those 10 minutes) and then finally eat breakfast. January 16, 2014 was a Thursday and it was the day that I decided to get ahold of my life. Here I am two years later and THIRTY pounds up from my lowest point. Funny how 30 lbs. ago was a low point and today, at a higher weight, is an even lower point. Today marks day 1, round 2 of my life. The last time I recorded my weight was January 22, 2015 and I was 201, 90 lbs. down. By the time April rolled around, I was down another 7 and was able to see 194 on the scale. I was SO close to the 100 lb. lost mark but then life happened and I yo-yoed my way through 2015. The last time I weighed 224 was August 30, 2014. I’m disgusted by myself that the last 16 months basically didn’t exist. However, they did exist and have molded me into who I am in this moment. The last 10 months have had extreme highs and extreme lows and I deal with extremes through food.
I’m ready to be that girl again—the one who was obsessed with the numbers, busted ass in the gym and didn’t let anything in life get in the way of her goals. I’m done being this sad girl who got her heart broken and couldn’t recover. It’s pathetic and totally out of my character. I am independent, and strong. I’m done with the excuses and I’m done waiting for someone to do it for me. I’m sick of my pants being tight, the scale rising and feeling prisoner to food. I was reminded today that it doesn’t matter where you start, but it’s important where you finish. I can’t feel this way again—defeated, weak, out of shape and fat. I’m sick of looking in the mirror and having my muffin top stare back at me.
Today, Thursday, I woke up, walked Oliver, weighed myself, wrote it down, took my measurements, wrote them down and ate a low-carb breakfast. Today is the day the fog lifts. Today is the day I stop letting my emotions control my eating. Today is the day I stop playing the victim of a broken heart. Today I am bad ass Sarah again.